When Worlds Collide
by ivy
hederahelix@earthlink.net

My Apprentice was angry. Maul had held her down yesterday and clipped her claws. He'd said something about her kneading in the morning approaching lethal levels of torture. She wasn't buying. She suspected it was a conspiracy motivated by the twit from next door. She would have her revenge,

She had a plan.

When Sidious approached the apartment that Friday night, she performed her usual service, leaving a trail of fur across his robes. She did this so as not to arouse suspicion.

Then she worked on a little Force manipulation of her own. A little tweaking to assure that Obi-Wan overheard Sidious's demands, and she would set the events in motion that would bring her desired outcome to fruition.

Sure she could just whammy Obi-Wan into calling Mary Sue over, but what fun would that be? And she wanted no tell-tale tracks pointing to her.

As Sidious began searching for Maul, My Apprentice sat on the windowsill and began to watch her plan unfold.

***

Obi-Wan was sitting quietly in his living room on a Friday evening. He'd sensed a strange disturbance in the Force just before he was going to head over to Maul's front door to collect him for the usual trip to the Grey Side of the Force. Seconds later he's heard Palpatine's voice booming in Maul's apartment.

"Maul? Maul?"

Gah! Obi-Wan thought. He's such a bloody queen every fookin' word he utters comes out a whine! And I thought Qui-Gon was bad.

"Maul!" Palpatine yelled, his anger clearly growing.

Uh-oh. Not a good tone change. Obi-Wan thought, and looked up at his reflection in the glass of the sliding door that led to the balcony. He really hoped the outfit he'd put together for tonight wasn't going to go to waste. The now nearly regulation Doc Martens (16 hole) underneath a kilt (MacGregor) chosen specifically to match his Swans T-shirt, emblazoned with "Public Castration Is a Good Idea." Leather jacket. Silk scarf with the latest collection of Maul's shed horns.

Maul. Do not make me search for you or you will regret it.

Obi-Wan was shaken from his fashion reverie when he heard his Da's voice inside his head. Funny, he thought, he'd never heard his dad use Forcespeak before. Obi-Wan scowled. What the bloody hell! Why on earth was Da talking to Maul through the Force?

Before he could puzzle that one out, he heard Maul's response as clearly as if he had been standing next to him.

"What is thy bidding, my master?"

Obi-Wan's head nearly exploded with the rage he suddenly felt. My Master? Senator Palpatine was his master? That lascivious prick and Maul? This had to stop. Now. Before he lost his lunch.

"Well, my apprentice. I was beginning to worry. You've gotten rather too cheeky for your own good, making me wait like that."

Suddenly the hair on the back of Obi-Wan's neck stood up. Then, he heard a muffled scream...maybe roar would better describe it. Dammit he heard a muffled noise from Maul unlike any other sound Maul had ever made (and he was pretty sure he'd had more experience with Maul's noises than most anyone had), and then he felt a brief flash of pain race through his own body.

"I am sorry, my Master. It will not happen again."

"See that it doesn't. I had thought to ask you to accompany me on a mission to ..."

Mission? Obi-Wan thought. What grandiose notions is that crazy old fool getting about these bloody campaign trips? And why do they increasingly interfere with my boyfriend's time? I know he's Dad's ward and all, but...

"...However, it is clear that you must spend some time considering the proper demeanor for an Apprentice. You're not strong enough to rise up and slay me yet, Maul."

Apprentice? Rise Up and Slay Him?!?!?!? This sounded way too kinky to be campaign related. Hell, this sounded way too kinky even for Yoda. And that was saying something.

"On Monday, when I return we will see to a suitable punishment."

Obi-Wan's world was again colored by a greenish haze that seemed to ooze into his flat and permeate each corner of the place. But he heard his father retreating, and wondered, suddenly and simultaneously if a) Maul had bedded every member of his family and b) why Da hadn't stopped by to say hello.

All right, Maul, Obi-Wan thought. I've been more than patient. You have some explaining to do.

Somewhere, a cosmic typist thought, "Hmm. good line. I wonder what it would sound like with a Cuban accent?" and logged it into her database for future use.

Obi-Wan was not surprised that Maul did not appear in his apartment at the time they had prearranged. Though Maul had been behaving almost cordially lately, Obi-Wan knew a backslide into his usual selfish behavior had been inevitable. Looks like it happened tonight. However, Perkium-free Obi-Wan did not take to jealousy well, and he stormed out of his apartment, and picked the lock to Maul's (again).

When he arrived in Maul's place, he noticed rather odd scorch marks on the walls in what would have been a rather nifty looking splay pattern if not for the still smoldering state. He really didn't want to know. Really. And yet, he was so pissed at Maul that he was afraid he'd end up finding out anyway.

"Maul? Where the bloody hell are you?" he growled. He was not answered by so much as a groan.

My Apprentice helpfully arose from her windowsill perch, and strolled in front of Obi-Wan, head pointing towards the bedroom, and mewed.

"Thank you. At least someone here knows her manners" Obi-Wan said, and leaned down and scritched her till she turned into a boneless, blissed out puddle on the floor.

Obi-Wan entered Maul's darkened bedroom. Maul was sprawled across the bed, face down. He didn't so much as flinch when Obi-Wan approached. Obi-Wan's hand reached out for the light switch, and just as he was about to flip it on, Maul hissed, "Don't touch that."

"And why precisely not, Maul?"

"You'll regret it."

My Apprentice was sitting triumphantly in the hallway, observing everything that followed. She lifted her paw and waved it towards Obi-Wan. Suddenly, he felt even more compelled to turn the light on than he already had. So he did.

Maul moaned and reached over with the Force to turn it off. But no before Obi-Wan got a good look at one very singed Maul. He realized the lingering smell of something burnt wasn't emanating solely from Maul's living room disaster.

Obi-Wan gasped. Those were awfully strange burn marks on Maul. Marks that looked suspiciously like ...lightening? How could Maul have been struck by lightening? It was the middle of a dry spell. No rain in days.

"Sorry, Obi-Wan. I'm not quite feeling up to going out just now. Maybe next week." Maul spit out, sarcasm dripping from each syllable.

"What happened to you?"

"A little electrical trouble. I was, uh..." Maul paused just one beat too long, a fact not lost on the Padawan, "working on fixing it when Senator Palpatine came looking for me."

The eyes Maul saw looking back at him were not believing one iota of this.

Then Obi-Wan suddenly turned slightly green about the gills, as if he'd been space sick.

"Ew!." Maul groaned, "Get your gutter mind out of there. I'd never sleep with that sadistic old queen. If you're thinking thoughts that kinky, you must've been hanging out with Qui-Gon and Yoda way too much." Maul thought. Just uttering the words squicked him out, and he had to tamp down his churning stomach.

"No? What was the Master bit about then?" Obi-Wan looked at him with pure hatred in his eyes. Maul thought, yes, go with the hatred thing, it feels so good. It felt almost good enough that Maul began to think he might not be laid out here for a week or so while he healed. But then he saw a twitch in Obi-Wan's hand a little too close to his lightsaber hilt. Better calm Obi-Wan down before he added skewered and diced to his experiences this evening.

"Remember when I told you never to ask me again about my day job? And if you did . . "

"It was over. I remember. And if you remember, I have not said word one."

"The Master bit is related to my day job. It is off limits. You must simply trust me that nothing sexual is going on between Palpatine and me."

Both men suddenly felt the urge to run for the balcony and see just who would get nailed by the twin streams of regurgitated dinner that were threatening to reveal themselves. But the humanoids won the battle.

Obi-Wan looked mistrustfully at Maul. Maul looked back, and Obi-Wan almost thought he saw a pang of regret.

Nah, Couldn't be. He must just need a drink. Obi-Wan thought about how Maul did seem to enjoy their new relationship, even if the beastie couldn't admit it to himself. He certainly couldn't feel actual regret at keeping something from him. He briefly wondered how to get out of this uncomfortable emotional corner. When in doubt, change the subject.

"Let me see what I can do with those burns, Maul. They look pretty nasty. Ya wanna drink? It'll take the edge off."

"A drink would be great." Maul said, breathing a tiny sigh of relief that one near crisis had been averted.

"Pete's?"

"Nah, I think something with a bit more kick."

"I've a nice 18 year old MacAllan."

Maul simply nodded.

***

A few hours later, a somewhat recovered Maul (whose burns had faded thanks to a bit of whatever it was that those Jedi taught their apprentices about healing) found himself leaning against a wall at the Grey Side of the Force while Obi-Wan had headed to the bar for drinks. The sheer volume of the music that night assured that the ringing Maul already had in his ears from Sidious's outburst of Force lightening would continue for days. Maul could not figure out what set Sidious off like that. I mean, the guy had been a bit more irrational than usual lately, but, nothing to explain this.

His little reverie was interrupted by the sudden appearance of Darth Mary Sue.

"Maul."

"Mary Sue."

Little purple sparks danced behind her eyes.

Maul simply glared back at her, sniffed, and pounded his drink.

"What, no usual tag line? No 'Wanna fuck?' I've grown accustomed to your habitual attempts to get me to break my brother's heart." she paused, and sniffed delicately, like a skeptical cat approaching a new brand of food. Something smelled wrong. Not to mention that Maul was not his usual self. Maul should have been angry at her, or at least frustrated, but nothing she'd said was getting a rise out of Maul, who was not even displaying the kind of rise that Maul usually had with her around. Depressed Maul? Burnt Maul? This didn't mean... "Why Maul, I do believe you are looking a bit crispy. You didn't actually try to..."

"No. Nothing like that. The sadistic bastard may be channeling your PMS. I've no idea what set him off. I was in the bathroom, about to answer him. Once I got into the living room, he was enraged like I've never seen him before. Well, at least not since he didn't get to play the lead in the Jedi Temple's latest production of 'Priscilla: Desert Queen of Tatooine.' Gah! I hate it when they even make them rhyme! Like the title of their little drag shows aren't bad enough." He winced. Come to think of it, Maul thought to himself, the prick has been testier than usual ever since I got back from that dustball of a planet.

"Maybe he's pissed that you destroyed the life of one of his kids," she said, reading his thoughts and resuming her glare.

"Mary Sue, I've apologized about that. That's as far as it goes. But that wasn't what pissed Sid off-he was actually deeply impressed when he figured out what I'd done. Congratulated me even. It was after that that he started acting like, well like someone who had lost his favorite toy."

Favorite toy, huh? Mary Sue thought, then stopped for a moment. Then she looked worried.

"What's the matter? Just see one of those investigators who've been going over every nanometer of your new life with the precision of a troop of mindless automatons designed to do the bidding of evil, power-hungry masters of the galaxy?"

"Nothing definite and nothing that concerns you." She made a shielded mental note that Palpatine had been really worked up ever since she got rid of that stupid ring. Must have some of her researchers look into what that might mean. "Where's Obi-Wan?"

"Refreshing my drink supply."

"So you're just sitting here harmlessly on a barstool waiting for your boyfriend to come back? Maybe Daddy just barbecued you for getting so soft," she teased.

Maul scowled back. "I won't dignify that with a response. At least, not one that won't get me into trouble. This isn't really your sort of place, Mary Sue. Why are you here?"

Mary Sue distractedly answered, "No reason, Maul. Really."

Maul unconvinced, looked from Mary Sue's fixed gaze to a particularly masculine-looking Wookiee and back to Mary Sue. Normally, Maul thought, he wouldn't use "masculine-looking" in front of the word Wookiee, as such a description would be redundant, but in this case it applied. A female Wookiee, who looked like she could pulverize most of the full grown male Wookiees he'd seen, had walked by wearing hiking boots and a Xena T-shirt.

"Uh-huh. Riiight."

***

Obi-Wan had arrived at the bar just behind a rush of tourists from the Outer Rim. As he was waiting behind a long line of idiots who kept asking for fluffy, fruity drinks that made both he and the bartender want to retch, he saw Maul talking to Mary Sue. He was trying to listen in on their conversation, but the song that roared to life on the sound system distracted him.

Now this is what it's like when worlds collide
Now this is what it's like
Now this is what it's like when worlds collide
Now this is what it's like

Obi-Wan looked up suddenly. Worlds colliding. He looked at Maul, pictured Palpatine. Ward or no, his Da did pop up awfully often at Maul's place, more often than he visited any of his blood related kids. What was that about?

And what about that Master and Apprentice bit?

Why did Maul train so damn much with a lightsaber if he wasn't at the academy?

Lightening in the middle of a dry spell?

It was all a bit odd.

Obi-Wan shook his head. If he wasn't careful, people were gonna think he was as daft as Yoda with those damn conspiracy theories. You would think someone as renowned for wisdom as Yoda would know better than to cry wolf. Everyone knew that the Sith had been extinct for centuries; why was he having such strange thoughts now? Maybe his problem was residual paranoia from the contact highs he'd endured after the fire in his building exiled him to Qui-Gon's place.

A voice with a British accent that hung out in a bit of gray matter that looked frighteningly like a library at a California high school loaded down with rare books that university librarians would literally have killed to possess cleared its throat. An even smaller and more timid portion of his brain that aspired to life as a script supervisor in some future life asked "Don't you think it's a bit of a stretch for a high school library to have..." But the portions devoted to fine Scotch and better sex beat the annoying one up, and she scurried quietly to a deep recess, so the Brit could say, "I've checked all the resources, and it does seem your suspicions have rather more merit than you might think."

Obi-Wan shook his head, trying to clear it, worrying that this was a side effect of all those years on various psychotropics and the ensuing shock treatment. Better to give himself over to the pounding music. Nice, safe music. Much safer. He picked up a Scotch, a nice single malt, neat, which the bartender had thoughtfully placed before him, and silently apologizing for the heresy of what he was about to do, downed in it one swift gulp.

What is it really
That's goin' on here
You've got the system for a total control
Now is there anybody out there
Now watch you suffer
Yeah 'cause you can't go

Song or no, good Scotch or no, the ideas just weren't leaving that easily.

He nodded at the bartender, who swiftly placed a second drink in front of him. Obi-Wan downed that one too, and a third for good measure, but the little nagging voice wouldn't leave him alone.

Why exactly was it that Maul was so adept at using the Force?

He hadn't heard any of the usual rumors about Maul's dropping out of the academy. In fact, Maul was even invited back to teach, if only as an adjunct. In several different departments. That was no real surprise, after all, the Temple was notoriously stingy about full pay and benefits. But they didn't usually invite dropouts back, no matter how much more cheaply they could pay them.

"My name is Giles," said the tiny little voice, "and he may well be..."

Don't even say it. It just can't be.

"Sith."

Obi-Wan looked at Maul from across the bar. And winced.

Damn day job. Couldn't be.

***

Maul looked up when he sensed Obi-Wan staring at him. He couldn't find him visually, what with the troop of about 20 pathetic life forms flailing awkwardly on the dance floor that stood between Maul and the bar, but he could feel him, and Obi-Wan was deeply disturbed about something. Suddenly, pushing further into their link Maul got the lyrics of the song in psychic stereo.

What is it really
That is in your head
What little life that you had just died
I'm gonna be the one that's takin' over
Now this is what it's like when worlds collide

Obi-Wan suddenly appeared behind Maul. No warning. He was just there. Maul could feel the toned body of his lover pressed against him. Obi-Wan leaned close, breathed on Maul's neck, and then said "Wanna dance?" deep and low into Maul's ear, while he sent Wanna fuck? mentally exactly synchronous with the verbal question. He could feel other parts of the padawan that were even more insistently nudging against him. He looked down and saw the kilt.

"Yeah." Maul exhaled, reaching back with his hand to lock onto the back of Obi-Wan's neck. They moved to the dance floor and Obi-Wan ground against Maul in time to the music.

Are you ready to go
'Cause I'm ready to go
What 'ya wanna do, baby, baby?
Are you goin' with me
'Cause I'm goin' with you
That's the end of all time

What is it really that motivates you

Maul turned to get a better grasp on Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan looked straight at him. Intoxicated by the waves of lust dripping from the padawan, Maul probed gently into Obi-Wan's mind. He tripped across the little Giles voice, which was sitting dejectedly in the corner, mumbling "Fine. Go ahead. Don't believe he's a Sith. But someday, years from now, when you face him in battle, don't say I didn't warn you."

Maul sputtered and laughed.

Obi-Wan apologized. "Sorry, man. I'm not sure what's gotten into me. I can't get the little fop to shut up. I think I need another drink."

Maul steered his neighbor off the dance floor and back to the bar.

He really didn't want to have to kill someone who looked this great in a kilt. Maybe he could blur this silly notion from the guy with enough alcohol.

Obi-Wan blinked. "Maul, man, I'm sorry about that. I think maybe some of Qui-Gon's stash has even more hallucinatory properties than he knows. Or I'm having one helluva flashback."

Maul nodded at the bartender, who appeared with another round of Scotch. Obi-Wan stepped back and looked at him.

Scotch or no, the weight of the evidence was weighing heavily on Obi-Wan's mind.

"Maul, what exactly went wrong electrically in your apartment?"

"I don't know, Obi-Wan. If I did, it wouldn't have been something that went wrong, now would it?"

"Well, I just mean that you seem technically capable enough. You have assembled a double-bladed lightsaber. Come to think of it I don't think I've ever known a Jedi Master who tried to take that challenge on. If you can handle assembling that bugger, I'd think you'd be able to..."

Suddenly, Maul felt very, very angry. Backbone enabled or not, Obi-Wan was still just a Jedi. Maul did not have to submit to this grilling from someone as unimportant in the grand scheme of things as this. Suddenly, little purple sparks began to dance behind Maul's eyes, and Obi-Wan's mouth gaped open.

Oops! Maul thought.

What kind of a blind idiot did you take me for? How long did you think we could live next door to each other without me putting two and two together, Maul?

Well, when you were on Perkium...

Shiite.

Obi-Wan leaned over and kissed Maul furiously.

Maul, trying not to reveal his shock in a most unSithly manner, sent, I guess this means you don't want to talk about it?

Damn right I don't want to talk about it.

Maul leaned into the kiss, and Obi-Wan reached around to clutch Maul's ass.

Now who is alive and who is the devil
You can't decide so I'll be your guide
And one by one they'll be the chosen
Now this is what it's like when worlds collide

The lyrics reached Maul's brain at double strength, blaring into his physical eardrums through the sound system and through Obi-Wan's sending them mentally.

"Obi-Wan," he spoke into his ear, "Let's get out of here before they kick us out."

The Jedi found himself nodding and following Maul to the door. But they didn't make it any further than the alley, halfway back to the speeder. Obi-Wan used the Force to throw Maul down on the hood of a closer hovercar. The music from the club was still pounding loudly in both their heads.

What is it really when you're falling over
everything that you thought was denied
I'm gonna be the one that's takin' over
Now this is what it's like when worlds collide

Maul groaned as Obi-Wan's hands slid from his wrists down towards the waistband of his leather pants.

***

Maul was lying back in his bed. The sex had been, well, incredible. But Obi-Wan was quiet. Way too quiet.

"Obi-Wan?"

"Maul, how good are you at memory wipes?"

Maul suddenly decided that his fingernails (is that what his species would call them?) were the most fascinating thing on Coruscant.

"How good?" Obi-Wan pressed.

"Pretty fucking amazing."

"Good. I want you to do me."

Maul scoffed. "Isn't that what we just did?"

Obi-Wan glared back. "I seem to recall that what we just did was actually me fucking you into next week, if you must know. But Maul, I'm serious. I want you to erase it all."

Maul looked at him slightly askew.

"I know the potential dangers. And don't you lecture me about my duty as a Padawan. Or I'll lecture you about..."

Maul shot him a look that made him freeze mid sentence. "Are you sure you won't regret this in the morning?"

Obi-Wan leered back, "Not if you're as good as you say."

***

Obi-Wan woke up with one mammoth hangover. No, he thought, this was worse than a hangover. It felt like a herd of Banthas had been on a stampede through his head. He moaned.

Maul's voice began to sink through the haze. "I've coffee on."

Obi-Wan reached a hand out, partly to see where his boyfriend was and partly to tell Maul to lower his voice. Then, he realized that Maul wasn't in bed. Cracking his eyes slightly, wincing at the light, he managed to locate Maul on a chair in the corner of the room.

That was odd, Maul usually woke later than he did.

With his hand on his lightsaber, Maul had been sitting in the chair watching Obi-Wan sleep, hoping he wasn't going to have to kill the man with whom he'd been having great sex mere hours before. He's spent much of that time trying to figure out how he could evade Mary Sue's wrath if he did have to kill her brother. Nothing pretty had occurred to him. Nothing that wouldn't assure that both of his favorite bed mates ended up dead.

"Maul? What time is it?"

"Afternoon. How are you feeling?" Maul asked cautiously, trying to gauge how well the memory wipe had taken.

"Bloody awful? What the fuck happened?"

"What do you remember?"

Obi-Wan dredged through his very fuzzy memories of last night. There'd been the ...what was it that had happened before he and Maul had left for the Grey Side? He remembered pounding a few Scotches back. That was odd, he never wasted good single malt like that. Meant to be savored. Then dancing with Maul. Kicked out? Sex on another car in another alley.

"Maul, it's a fuzzy mess."

"Turns out the Scotch was laced with some new drug fresh from the Outer Rim. I guess some of those tourists weren't just what they seemed to be. Bartender was real apologetic."

Obi-Wan did a double take at the expression of concern from Maul. Then, he regretted the movement while his head throbbed. "Who are you, and what did you do with my neighbor?" Obi-Wan closed his eyes and sank back into the bed. He must've been really out of it last night for Maul to look concerned.

With his eyes firmly closed, and the remnants of an actual hangover mixed with the nasty side effects of a particularly thorough memory purge, Obi-Wan didn't notice the whammy Maul made next.

"You were so stoned you thought that I was a Sith Lord and Palpatine was my master. Better watch what you say in public or they'll send you back to the Happy Farm." Maul waved his hand gently.

Obi-Wan just groaned. "I was so stoned that I thought you and Palpatine were Lords of the Sith. Gotta watch what I say in public or they'll send me back to the Happy Farm."

As Obi-Wan drifted back to sleep, Maul wandered out of his bedroom and over to the computer. He found he was far too distracted by memories of last night. The old Obi-Wan would have run shrieking from the bar had he discovered what Perkium-free Obi-Wan had found out last night. Not reached over and, as he had rightly described it, fucked Maul into next week.

The old Obi-Wan was so baked on Jedi feel-good pills he didn't have two brain cells to rub together, My Apprentice said, rubbing against Maul's shin. Or the balls to make you take what you give. Obi-Wan with a Clue really turns you on, doesn't he?

Maul glared at the cat. "Does not. Obi-Wan knowing that I am S..."

Denial!

Maul lifted a book to throw at the cat, only to discover that it was the Sith Handbook, flipping open to a very, very early page. It threw itself prostrate on the desk in front of Maul.

This rule wasn't even written up there with the incontrovertible rules: it was on the frontispiece:

"Tacitae magis et occultae inimicitiae timendae sunt quam indictae atque apertae."

Maul looked at the strange combination of words that resembled no language he'd ever encountered in this galaxy. Great. Not only did the list of rules in this damnable book grow continually, and possibly contradict itself on occasion, but now it was printed in strange languages.

My Apprentice helpfully translated. The cardinal rule of the Sith. Well, after that there can only be two bit. The cardinal rule is 'Silent, hidden enemies are more to be feared than those openly expressed.'

"What language is that?" Maul asked, looking suspiciously at the cat.

Something called Latin. It is truly a properly Sithly language. It has five different declensions.

Maul shook his head. He didn't know what a declension was, nor did he care. He really didn't want to know why his cat was studying arcane languages he hadn't heard of. He just didn't. No good could possibly come of it.

She added So no more hot, monkey driven love with Obi-Wan With a Clue.

Maul just glared at her. He would have his revenge-somehow.

"I didn't like him better that way." Maul stopped mid-thought.

My Apprentice, stretched, as cats do, front paws out ahead of her, butt high in the air. But she held the pose and sent, I bow before the king of denial, Maul, Lord of the Sith, who wants his Jedi boyfriend to love him just as he is.

Maul growled, and leapt to his feet, using the force to command his lightsaber from across the room. In a split second he ignited it, and proceeded to chase the cat around the apartment, thundering "This time, My Apprentice, you have gone too far."

Obi-Wan, awakened by the commotion, stumbled into the room, wearing not a stitch. "Maul" he pleaded, "I've a hangover the size of Coruscant. D'ya think you can hold it down to a dull roar? For Force's sake, Maul."

Maul turned around to face Obi-Wan. "You've something else the size of Coruscant at the moment." Obi-Wan grinned an evil grin, and Maul was temporarily distracted so that when the door opened, My Apprentice ran out, seizing the opportunity for self-preservation.

Mary Sue walked in, and burst into hysterical laughter at the sight of Maul, single-bladed lightsaber in hand, staring with an unadulterated lust at a naked Obi-Wan.

"Did I interrupt something, boys?" she asked sweetly.

Maul switched the weapon off, and whirled to face her. Obi-Wan plopped down on the sofa, rubbing his forehead. He grabbed a throw pillow, and placed it strategically at his crotch. "Just Maul careening around the house like a crazed warrior intent on hacking his pet cat into bite size pieces for some inexplicable reason," Obi-Wan grumbled.

"I see I've arrived at a bad time. I did have a question for you Maul, but I'll send some lawyers over with it when you're not about to be indisposed. I see you'll be busy for a while. Far be it from me to interfere with my brother's happiness." Mary Sue turned and retreated from the apartment.

Maul turned to see Obi-Wan wearing a particularly hungry expression.

"What on Coruscant did she drop by for?" Maul wondered.

"Who cares!" Obi-Wan said, as he rose from the chair, casting the pillow aside as he went. "Palpatine is out of the system, Mary Sue is gone, even your bloody cat has fled. We're alone. Let's go to bed."

Maul, without My Apprentice's little digs to remind him of how unSithly his behavior was, decided to enjoy himself.

***

Mary Sue retreated down the hall. She certainly couldn't quiz Obi-Wan about her father's reaction to the ring with Maul around. That would have to wait until later. As she hit the button for the elevator, she noticed My Apprentice at her feet, winding around her ankles.

"Do you want back into your apartment or was Maul really about to slice and dice you?"

He was rather angry. However, I may have some information about that ring that might interest you.

Mary Sue looked down at the cat with newfound respect. She picked My Apprentice up, and scratched her behind the ears as the elevator doors opened. "Oh really. And what might that be?"

My Apprentice purred as the elevator doors closed.

END

(11/9/99)

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