An Inner Dialogue
by Loden Taylor
loden_t@hotmail.com

Last night I stumbled upon your site, and promptly began laughing my ass of at the stories. Then I read the one where Maul and Obi-Wan slept together.

I stopped reading, thinking to myself, "Well, I don't want to read about THAT..." But a little voice in my head kept saying, "Why not?" And, when I couldn't come up with a satisfactory answer, I did what I usually do when things like this happen: I sat and had a dialogue with myself, trying to find what, exactly, disturbed me so.

As usual, it didn't take long to find the answer, and soon I was reading again, happily laughing my ass of once more. So I thought I'd share my inner dialogue with you, since your stories really made me think. Thanks.

Gods! Darth Maul and Obi-Wan Kenobi sleeping together...that's just wrong!

*Why do you say that?*

Well... It's just something I don't like. That's all.

*No, no...don't try to simplify it, think. What about it, exactly, do you find unsettling?*

I'd just gotten used to thinking of Maul as someone who kicks ass and takes names. You know, badass with the lightsaber, and all that.

*And the fact that he sleeps with men changes this? Gay or bisexual men can't kick ass?*

That's not what I mean.

*Then what do you mean?*

Well, I don't exactly know...I'm not sure how to put it into words.

*Let's start with the basics, then. What was your reaction when you read about the two of them in bed?*

Revulsion. I believe my thoughts were, "Now why did the person who wrote the story have to do that?"

*You felt that the characters of Maul and Obi-Wan had been corrupted somehow?*

In a way, yes.

*Do you mean that they were changed from the movie versions, or the earlier Sith Academy stories?*

A bit of both, I suppose, but mostly from the earlier stories. See, before they had been about Maul dealing with his evil and kinky master, and that annoying little Obi-Wan.

*Aren't they still about that?*

Yes, but there's a difference. Now that Obi-Wan and Maul are a couple, Obi-Wan isn't the annoying little puppy of a Jedi he once was.

*So you're slightly disappointed in the change of character. But that's not all of it...*

Well, obviously not. Beyond that, there's the base fact that I find sex between Maul and Obi-Wan...

*Perhaps you're a homophobic bastard.*

Oh, come off it. You know very well that I have several homosexual friends. You also know that I've secure in my sexuality. I take people one at a time. I couldn't care less what their sexual preferences are.

*Unless, of course, you're trying to get a date with a girl.*

What's that?

*It would be preferable to know that she's heterosexual before asking her out.*

Ha. Funny.

*But anyway, are you uncomfortable around gay men?*

No. Whenever I see someone who I know is homosexual, I don't think, "Oh, there's a gay man," I think, "Oh, there's so-and-so." How he lives his life is his business. He's just another guy.

*OK, then. So you're not homophobic. What is it about this that upsets you?*

Maybe it's that the stories aren't so much about Maul being trained in evil anymore. Now they're more about Maul and Obi-Wan's relationship.

*Well, that's just how things go. Things evolve, characters develop and change, you know that. It happens all the time in literature. Especially in things like serialized stories and comics. But I still think you're skirting the issue.*

Yeah, yeah, I know...

*Why does this upset you?*

Well, it's like my perception of Maul has changed. I used to think of him one way, and now...

*And now that perception is different.*

Exactly.

*You liked the idea of a heterosexual Darth Maul, and now you've been forced to change your perceptions. It's a little like trying to put a square peg into a round hole. The "new" Darth Maul doesn't fit with your original concept.*

Right. I've been forced to change my ideas about him to fit him as he is now.

*There you have it. It doesn't quite click in your mind, and so you recoil. The question is, is it the idea of a gay Maul, or the idea of a sexual Maul that causes this?*

What do you mean?

*I mean, would you have had the same reaction if Maul's primary love interest had been female?*

That's a tough one...I think it's the idea of Darth Maul having sex, period. I remember reading one story (somewhere else) where he had sex with a handmaiden, or something...

*Right...*

...it just didn't click. I didn't really want to contemplate the sex lives of the Sith Lords. It's kind of like thinking of my parents having sex. Don't want to think about it.

*Ok, good. But the fact that it was with another man still had something to do with it, didn't it?*

Well, yes, I suppose it did. In popular culture, all of the badass heroes are straight.

*And the idea of a gay man who can lightsaber his way through a crowded room doesn't click in your head.*

Right. After putting the smack down, the guy always goes home to his girlfriend.

*So, again, you're uneasy because you've been forced to change your perceptions.*

I guess so.

*Tell me...after your original fit of disgust, did you stop reading the stories?*

Well, I stopped for a while. But I went back later to read more.

*Why?*

Because they're good stories. And they're pretty damn funny. And the more I read, the less Maul's homosexuality seems to matter.

*Good. That's it. You've found the answer, and you've hopefully opened your mind a bit more.*

Right. It doesn't matter what or who the hell you lust after. Anyone can kick a whole lot of ass, if they want to.

*And if they give in to their hatred, and strike with the power of the Dark Side!*

Yes. Indeed...

END

(4/17/00)

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