Jedi Fairy Tales
By the Intrepid Condo-Owning Melissa^TM
radegund@yahoo.com
[Read Melissa's author bio]

"Rowrf!" Chewbecky growled insistently, pawing through a haphazard pile of stuffed animals (mangled), chew toys (well used), blankets (shed upon), and baby clothes (washed, fortunately). Having recently discovered that her legs were good for more than just kicking her father, Chewbecky now considered anything that she could get her hands on to be rightfully hers. Eventually, Chewbecky pulled out a book and waved it in the air. "Rorfr!" she announced.

"Does that mean you want me to read to you?" Obi-Wan smiled and pulled his furry charge into his lap. Babysitting wasn't really what he'd planned to do this evening, but Jon-Tra had shown up at his front door and convinced Obi-Wan to watch little Chewbecky for a few hours while he got caught up on his studies over at the academy. Because Jon-Tra communicated this request entirely in baby-talk, Obi-Wan had agreed, figuring the man needed to go have some adult contact for a while.

Not surprisingly, Maul had made himself scarce the instant the word "babysitting" was uttered.

Obi-Wan looked at the book Chewbecky had chosen, Jedi Fairy Tales. He flipped to the first story in the book and began to read to the small child curled happily in his lap.

The Three Little Padawans

Once upon a time there were three little Padawans. Each one was sent on an assignment to a different part of the galaxy.

The first little Padawan made his home on a consular shuttle. One day, the Big Bad Sith flew up in his own shuttle and said, "Little Padawan, little Padawan, let me in!"

"Not by the hair on my master's chin!" replied the Padawan.

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your ship up!" said the Big Bad Sith.

"But this is a diplomatic vessel!" the Padawan protested.

"I don't care!" The Big Bad Sith huffed, and he puffed, and then he lifted his hand and out shot purple lightning! The lightning fried out the shuttle's systems, and the first little Padawan barely made it to his escape pod before the ship blew up!

The first little Padawan flew his escape pod to the planet Alderaan, where the second little Padawan was living. The first little Padawan told the story of how the Big Bad Sith had blown up his shuttle, and the two Padawans spent the evening comforting each other.

The next day, the Big Bad Sith came to Alderaan! "Little Padawan, little Padawan, let me in!" he demanded.

"Not by the hair on my master's chin!" replied the second little Padawan.

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your planet up!" said the Big Bad Sith.

"But Alderaan is peaceful and has no weapons!" the Padawan complained.

"I don't care!" The Big Bad Sith huffed, and he puffed, and then he used a giant space station to blow up the entire planet!

The two little Padawans just barely escaped in a cargo vessel. They flew to Coruscant, where the third little Padawan was living in the Jedi Temple. The first little Padawan told the story of how the Big Bad Sith had blown up his shuttle, and the second little Padawan told the story of how the Big Bad Sith had blown up his planet, and then all three Padawans spent the evening comforting each other.

The next day, the Big Bad Sith came to Coruscant! "Little Padawan, little Padawan, let me in!" he cackled.

"Not by the hair on my master's chin!" replied the third little Padawan.

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your temple up!" said the Big Bad Sith.

"But the Jedi are the guardians of peace and justice!" the Padawan reminded him.

"I don't care!" The Big Bad Sith huffed, and he puffed, and then he released his giant army of robot warriors! But no matter how many weapons they fired at the temple, the robot warriors could not cause it any damage. The Force was protecting the temple!

"Poodoo!" said the Big Bad Sith. "The Jedi are too strong for me. The light side of the Force protects them. I shall have to go find myself an apprentice and build an even stronger army of real soldiers before I attack them again."

The three little Padawans looked at the Sith with big round eyes. "Oh, Big Bad Sith, why do you keep trying to blow us up?" they asked.

"Because I am evil! What other reason do I need?" the Big Bad Sith asked.

"Aww, that's so sad. Would you like a hug?"

"NO!!" With that, the Big Bad Sith rushed back on his shuttle and hurried home.

The End.

By Ivy. Click to see larger image.

Obi-Wan closed the book and looked down at Chewbecky. "Did you like... oh, nooo!" he yelped as he noticed that the baby was chewing on his braid. "I am not a chew toy," he scolded, extracting the braid from her iron grip. "Not your chew toy, anyway." Chewbecky burbled contentedly and began chewing on a corner of the book instead.

Obi-Wan inspected the mangled end of his braid. "I thought Jon-Tra's braid looked a few inches shorter. You're a menace, you know that?"

Chewbecky hacked up a hairball, then turned her wide eyes to Obi-Wan and gave him her best "aren't I cute?" smile.

Obi-Wan sighed and tucked his braid inside his tunic. "How about another story?" he suggested. As he wrestled with Chewbecky for control of the book, Obi-Wan sneaked a look at the clock, counting the hours until Jon-Tra returned. Obi-Wan had been trained by the Jedi to defend himself against rancors, draigons, battle droids, and even the mythical Sith. Perhaps it was about time that "small children" were added to that list!

END

(10/16/00)

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