Jedi Master Classes
by Yoda
transcribed by Labchan

A dark and stormy night it was


It was a dark and stormy night. Inside the Jedi temple all the padawans were asleep, dreaming of their futures as Jedi, or depending, new recruits of the Agri-Corps(tm).

But masked by the green foliage a phantom lurks. A phantom searching for prey. A prey strong in the Force. The prey of a Jedi Master.

The caped figure moved silently through the garden, placing himself directly outside of the Master's chamber window, then watched him slowly undress. Layer, by layer, by layer, by layer, by layer, by layer, by layer, by tantalizing layer the master prepared for sleep. But the phantom knew better than to let him sleep...

With a wave of a gloved hand the menacing phantom lifted a brush off of the table and started stroking it through the sideburns of the one beyond the pane of syntha-glass.

"Master Windu?" the Jedi called out forlornly.

The absence of an answer made the Jedi spin around violently on his vanity chair, falling off his chair when to his surprise the brush falls to the ground with him.

The phantom chuckles with evil delight as he watches the Jedi search for answers.

"Master Windu? Playing games is one thing, but if you touch my 'Super Silver Drag Queen Brush with Hidden Facial Hair Groomer' again I may just have to whip you." The Jedi chuckled at his inane quip only to be greeted by the silence that greets all who meet their doom at the hands of this man in fuchsia.

Moving faster than a speeding Wampa, the figure left its place at the window and knocked at the door of the scared Jedi Master.

The Jedi threw on a towel and poked his head outside the door, only to find the same results as before: silence...and a chocolate bar.

"Windu? Adi? Who are you?! Mmmm! A Nutty Buddy!"

Distracted by the Nutty Buddy bar, the Jedi had no hope in suspecting the phantom's attack. Swinging down from the rafters above, the phantom attacked, landing squarely on the Master's rounded midsection declaring:

"The Phantom Men-Acer I am! Show you a good time I can! Surprised you are, yes, but teach you everything the academy instructors have not! Learn now you will your final training exercises!"

<<Syntax Correction Program Disengaged>>

The End it is


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